Jon Buller - Blog

It Can’t All Happen in One Day…

2012-01-07T21:03:41+00:00

I recently had to remind myself of the pressure I put on myself to achieve all of my goals immediately… whenever this happens to me, I have a mini emotional episode of panic. Sometimes it can last for days or weeks, before I get perspective. Everything goes along fine, stuff gets done, one day goes into the next – but it just feels ‘off’, and that’s not a fun way to live. The only way I ever regain that perspective is through prayer, reflection and faith. Very often the catalyst is a person or people giving me a thought, a challenge, or even an admonishment.

Why am I writing this?

1. It helps me to process my thoughts and feelings to write them out. It’s part of the process of regaining perspective.

2. Like I say, I often need people to nudge me back into right thinking. I have the hope that reading this might help give you that nudge as well.

For me, today I just need to remember the old adage, ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’. I can’t achieve everything I’d like to accomplish all at once. It takes planning, strategy, priorities, teamwork and most of all trust and faith in God’s purpose for my life. It strikes me that I might have to let some things go too. But that’s another blog for another time…

Jon Buller

George

2012-01-01T20:12:46+00:00

I’ve got a friend named George. He has been married for a very long time. George is quite old, and he had a heart-attack in September. He was in the hospital for 2 months, and some people thought that he probably wouldn’t be leaving after he checked in there… but the doctors sent him home two months later to his wife Frieda who is also elderly, but doesn’t seem hardly as old as he does now.

I felt badly because I meant to visit him while he was in the hospital for that lengthy stay. But life is so busy, and each day passed me by and I still hadn’t gone to visit. I was leaving for 2 weeks for Christmas and I knew I wanted to visit him before I left, so the day before I flew out I finally called and went over. A friend and I went to his house and sang Christmas carols for him for awhile, because I was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to make it to church for Christmas eve. He reclined in his chair and closed his eyes. After each song, and whenever he thought a song was over (we were often just finishing a chorus or something), he would open his eyes and clap for us… and the cycle went like that for awhile.

Every time George’s wife would walk past him, he would grab her hand and kiss it and say ‘I love you’. She would walk to the kitchen and get a coffee, come back 30 seconds later and he would grab her hand and say ‘I love you’ again. And that continued all the while we were there.

George and his wife have moved into a different house without stairs and with way less ‘stuff’. Neither of them seem to mind that, in fact I think they’re quite happy to be living much more simply… and while I was there visiting and singing I found myself to be a bit jealous of that.

My son Jackson has a friend named George too. He is 8 years old and quite smart, and has his whole life ahead of him. He and Jackson play together and seem to have endless energy. ‘Young’ George and ‘old’ George actually have a lot in common except of course their age. And here I am almost exactly in the middle of the 2 of them age-wise, observing them both and realizing things about myself in the process.

I know it may seem melancholy to say this, but watching ‘young’ George and Jackson play, and then spending time singing carols for ‘old’ George and Frieda was a really good reminder for me of the finer things in life. To play. To live simply. To appreciate things that should be appreciated (like music or art). To tell my wife I love her every chance I get. To not be so busy all the time that I don’t make time to be with people that are important to me.

I’m not 8 years old anymore... far from the dawn of my life, but I’m also not yet 80 and in the twilight season. I’m right about smack dab in the middle, and I think I really needed those reminders. So I guess, George and George, I just want to say… thanks.

Who Am I?

2011-12-21T19:00:38+00:00

For the last couple of weeks, there have been quite a few days that I have woken up and not known what day it is. I know I am still relatively sane... but I also know that this might be a sign that I should do some self diagnosis on my lifestyle as it stands right now.

I used to travel full time for my career as a musician. Any road musician or frequent traveler will have most likely experienced this phenomenon of waking up and asking yourself these two questions…

Where am I? And…

What day is it?

Christian musicians may have also been thankful for Sunday because on the road they may end up leading music at a service on a Sunday. Because of this, they finally know what day it is again. The problem of knowing where you are at a particular moment when you wake up quickly reminds me of the scene from the cult classic movie Spinal Tap where Nigel (I think it’s Nigel) has to write ‘Cleveland’ on the back of his guitar so he knows what city to thank - ’Thank youuuuu…pause…checks back of guitar…checks city name…yells…Clevelaaaaaand’. For myself I know that this condition of being temporarily disoriented to space and time can reveal at least 4 things about myself. Two are factual and outside of my control. Two are diagnoses that I should probably pay attention to.

1. I may be on tour

If that is the case, my space / time continuum or whatever you want to call it, will be pretty much totally disrupted until at least 2 days to 2 weeks after I return home, depending on the length of the tour. If you’ve experienced it, this is a totally normal condition and there’s nothing to worry about, it will pass (deep breathing sometimes helps).

2. I may be on vacation

If that is the case, a disruption in my ability to know what day it is, or even what TIME of day it is, is quite welcome and sometimes even hoped for – unless I need to know the day so that I don’t miss swimming with the dolphins or my paragliding adventure, or the lunch buffet.

3. I am wayyyy too busy

Quite clearly, my disorientation may be related to the fact that I’m going a little bit too full tilt – and I really just need to slow down. Deep breathing doesn’t really help here…lol… But seriously, as hard as it is to take the off-ramp from the fast lane for a bit, if I don’t do it I risk some serious consequences. Blogs should be long enough to get a point across but short enough to read and move on. So I’ll save my list for another time…

4. I am too into myself

This may surprise you, but I think the more you focus on yourself, your career, your success, even your Christian service – the more you may be at risk of losing yourself. Yes, you have to focus, but there is also a line that can be crossed where you lose perspective because of how close you are to something. Service of God can become the enemy of God if your work for Him comes at the expense of your personal relationship with Him. How this happens is as mysterious as it is simple. It happens before you know it, and you are hard-pressed to explain it, but it can be as simple as the fact that you are pressing inward or forward so hard that you leave your sense of self way back in the dust somewhere... Or like I say, you are so close to whatever it is, that you can’t see it for what it is… you need to take a step (or many steps) back.

So, if you’re like me and experiencing these ‘symptoms’, like wondering what day it is, do yourself the favor and take your foot off the gas for just a bit. Slow down enough to plan for a rest in the near future, and be accountable to it. Or, if you have to – stop, back up and get perspective. Leading up to Christmas that is difficult to do, but especially at this season you’ll be thankful you did.

I’m confident that soon enough, you’ll remember where you are, when you are, and most importantly who you are.

12 Days of Christmas

2011-12-17T19:53:55+00:00

Did you know that the twelve days of Christmas are not a ‘count-down’, but actually a ‘count-up’? That may be obvious to you, but you might be interested to know the story of the song and how tradition and Christmas overlap.

I first heard about the origin of the 12 days of Christmas from my Anglican priest friend Jamie Howison. The 12 days in the song are the 12 days between Christmas or boxing day (celebrated as the feast of St. Stephen) and January 6 (celebrated as the feast of the Epiphany).

Wikipedia says that the original rhyme or chant began as a game, where it would be recited and people would take turns on each verse, until someone made a mistake – at which point they would have to pay some kind of penalty or gift (like a kiss… or a chocolate). Who knows if people made it more interesting back in the day…

Whatever the case may be, there are those 12 days between the celebration of Christmas and the celebration of the Epiphany in the Christian church calendar. So really if you think about it, Christmas eve or Christmas day is the beginning of yet another count-down or ‘count-up’ which leads us to Epiphany.

And in case you are wondering, the observance of Epiphany (January 6) is known as a celebration of the Incarnation (God becoming flesh in the person of Christ). It commemorates His birth and is also a general celebration of the visit of the Wise Men, Jesus childhood events, His baptism and even the miracle at the Wedding of Cana (another well-known celebration of its’ own).

My son has been busy counting down to the days to when our family leaves for our Christmas vacation back home. Of course, he is counting down to Christmas day too. And it’s advent after all, so it’s all about hope and anticipation of celebration, family time, relationships (yes – presents too), and most importantly the birth of Christ. But here we find yet another feast to look forward to.

Having said all that, if I may suggest – enjoy the count-down to Christmas. But when Christmas has ended and maybe after a bit of reflection and rest, remember that the anticipation and celebration continues – for at least 12 more days, according to the song, and also according to the Christian church calendar!

Expectations

2011-12-13T04:07:10+00:00

In my devotional life I read from different sources, but three seem to be primary for me, ones that I often come back to. First is the BIBLE. Second is Oswald Chambers' MY UTMOST FOR HIS HIGHEST, and third A GUIDE TO PRAYER.

What I love about A GUIDE TO PRAYER is that it has a reading schedule that is theme based each week, to guide me in what scriptures to be directed to. It also has for each week 7 or 8 excerpts from both historical and contemporary writers and thinkers that help guide my thinking and reflection and sometimes challenge my thoughts and convictions. What I like about Oswald Chambers is that there is little to no wiggle room in his theology. He states his point directly, and sometimes at the risk of offending the reader - but this is what I think many of us (including myself) need in our faith - to be challenged to think.

I'm writing this in the season of advent, which is a season of anticipation and expectation of the birth of Jesus Christ. Some months ago I read Chambers and he said this about expectation of God.

'Do not look for God to come in a particular way, but do look for Him... Keep your life so constantly in touch with God that His surprising power can break through at any point. Live in a constant state of expectancy, and leave room for God to come in as He decides.'

I appreciated this at the time that I read it, because it reminded me to not confine God's activity in my life to what I expect Him to do. And, right now it seems especially true at advent, that the Christmas story, while full of expectation for so many individuals and even the nation of Israel involved a LOT of surprises to those expectations. God's surprising power can break through at any point... yes. And on that first Christmas, He did break through... in probably the most surprising way of all. And so I am reminded, and you may be also, to leave room in your life for God to come in as He decides.

Jon

The Condition of Prayer

2011-04-15T20:45:45+00:00

I’m a father of 2. Cassidy is 2, Jackson is 8. I remember when I was around 8 and throughout my childhood and teen years, I would ask for certain things from my parents. My mom would say ‘yes, on one condition’. A condition in this sense was something that I would have to fulfill in order to receive the privilege I was asking for. But the word condition is also used to indicate some health problem, for example, my wife has the condition of migraine headaches. Not a fun thing…

But today I was thinking that sin is like a human condition in the health problem sense. One of the conditions that we all have as part of our humanity is sin. We all do it, and that’s just part of being human. It is a human condition.

PRAYER is also a condition. It is a condition of being a Christian. But this time I mean it in the parenting sense. In order to deal with the human condition of broken-ness and sin, we must fulfill the condition of prayer in our Christian journey. We MUST pray. To pray is to experience God. To pray is to listen somehow to God. To pray is to commune with Him, to present our cares to Him. To pray is to confess. And by doing so we confront head-on the human condition we have of sin. It is through prayer that we conduct a transaction between the living God and ourselves. 1 John 9 says ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.’

And every prayer matters. Some prayers are spontaneous. Some are anguished or tearful. Some are angry. Some are carefully thought out and written down, like songs that we can say or sing over and over again. But all of them are good, and right if they are directed towards God. Even the angry ones. The book of Psalms has some really good examples of pretty much all of those… here’s a great prayer I just read from my devotional.

O God my father, renew my spirit and draw my heart to Yourself, that my work may not be to me a burden, but a delight. And give me such love for You as would sweeten all my obedience. Help me, that I may serve You with the cheerfulness and gladness of a child, delighting myself in You and rejoicing in all that is to the honor of Your name. Through Jesus Christ my Lord, Amen.
THE BOOK OF PRAYER

I sometimes want to pray, but struggle with it because I don’t know where to start, or where I do start seems to not be ‘working’. It’s in those times I often turn to my bible or a fantastic devotional my mother gave me that is full of prayers written by modern thinkers and saints of history. Prayers and scriptures written by others are often the key that I need to help ‘prime the pump’ in my prayer life – to get me started or to keep me going.

Here’s another great prayer that can perhaps start you off on the right foot:

Lord, You have promised to meet those who seek You. Come now and reveal Your presence to me as I make myself present to You. In the name of Jesus Christ my Lord, Amen.

Jon Buller

Prayers and Thoughts

2011-03-25T02:46:13+00:00

I often read from A GUIDE TO PRAYER published by the Upper Room. It's filled with prayers, directed scripture readings and writings from profound authors over the centuries. My mom gave it to me on my birthday in 2001 and I am still using it 10 years later. Today's prayer was brilliant. If you are spiritual person, you may want to join me in praying it.

'Almighty God, by the power of your Holy Spirit, open my eyes, ears, heart and very life to Your presence so that today I may worship and serve You in faithfulness, and be a blessing and healing reminder of Your love to all whose lives I might touch. I offer my prayer in the name of Christ. Amen.'

Right now I'm working hard in preparation for some gigs coming up - next week in Vernon, a support concert for our churches compassion ministry. Two weekends following I get to go home to Winnipeg to lead worship there. And after that... knee surgery. I was just reminded today by this prayer, that every day presents an opportunity for me to be 'a blessing and healing reminder of God's love' to someone. Whether it's through the music ministry I do, or whether it's at the hospital with the doctors and nurses... or at the coffee shop or anywhere else I go.

Whether we are spiritual people or not, we have the opportunity to bring a little bit of light to an often dark world. May we have open eyes, ears and hearts to not miss those moments.

Jon Buller

God Came Near

2011-02-24T00:15:24+00:00

I’ve recently been in a season of feeling somewhat distant from God. That’s not to say that God actually has been distant from me though, which is an entirely different thing.

Then The Meeting Place 20th anniversary happened. The Meeting Place (TMP) was the church where I was mentored as a worship leader through my 20s and into my 30s. I spent 10+ years attending TMP and serving there as a musician and worship leader. So much of my spiritual journey happened in that place. I met my wife there, I was married there, I worked there, I served God there, I made mistakes there, I built life-long friendships there, I learned to love Jesus there…

I moved to Vernon about 6 years ago, and have been back to TMP to lead worship a handful of times, and it has been wonderful. But things change and you can’t relive the past – I’ve learned that, and I’m ok with that.

Something happened on Jan 30, 2011 at the 20th anniversary of TMP. In the life of Jon Buller, God came near. But maybe what I really mean is Jon Buller came near to God. No, we weren’t re-living the past. But we did have the amazing opportunity to welcome back 2 of our teaching pastors, and the first lead pastor as well as past and present worship leaders. And I am sure that I was not the only one that experienced God’s nearness.

To describe what happened is difficult – I’m still trying to process all of the miraculous work that God did in us and among us that night. But I can say that I think the ultimate goal of the evening was to celebrate God’s story in that community – past, present and future. And that is what we did. As we did it, through teaching and music, sharing, dancing, story telling, praying… it seemed God began (or rather – continued) to work in that place.

I believe there was deep healing of hurts, and I know there was profound celebration on all kinds of levels. There was a ministry of the Holy Spirit in the hearts of many, and the theme of the night seemed perfectly named – MOMENTUM – because that’s what it felt like was happening in our midst. Hope and faith continued to grow, or for some was renewed and restored.

So, thank you Meeting Place for so many things, especially the richness of the faith in God that you gave me in that time of my life, which still continues today. And of course, thank you for the gift of participating in your twenty-year anniversary, where I could feel again that God comes near.

Sabbath Rest

2011-02-08T19:54:54+00:00

Recently I was at the pastors retreat for the Alliance churches of BC. We heard Mark Buchanan speak. He is the author of 'THE REST OF GOD' a great book I recommend to you.

Here is a diagnostic list for you that he shared with us. Mark shared that these kinds of lists can be a little dangerous but they can also be a good tool to ask yourself some questions about your own self-care. It is also not an exhaustive list - i.e. there may be items that you could add to make it more personalized for yourself or others.

So I encourage you - don't be too hard on yourself, but read this list, reflect and process it a little bit. I think we could all be encouraged to rest in God more... And by the way - Sabbath rest obviously does not have to happen on a Sunday! Find times for resting in God (tuning out all distractions - getting silent) at whatever time / place during the week you can!

You know you need sabbath rest when...

your emotional response to a situation is disproportionate to the trigger of that response (your friend is 5 minutes late or your child spills their drink and it is as if the world is caving in)
you are both restless and listless (want to do something but don't care enough about anything, so you remain unmoved)
you have a growing resentment against ___________ (fill in the blank: work, spouse, kids, other drivers etc…)
you complain a lot about ______, and obsess over it rather than changing it
other people start their conversations with you by saying “I know you are busy, but…”
your intimacy with God starts diminishing
you feel entitled or “owed” something
you being feeling sorry for yourself, undervalued or under-appreciated
you fantasize more and more (escapism from real life)
old temptations/anxieties re-awaken with increased intensity
physical health issues begin to arise
you stop caring about what you really care about

(Source - MARK BUCHANAN teaching at BC district Alliance church pastor's retreat)

Friends - don't be overwhelmed by this. Just respond by carving out time to REST in God. Some quiet time, some reflection, some scripture, some prayer, some sleep! If there is absolutely no time in your life, just start small - 15 minutes, then fight for 20 minutes, then try and carve out 30 minutes or an hour.

May we all find a little bit more REST in God this week and every day.

The Enemy

2011-02-01T19:58:30+00:00

My last blog was part 1 on serving God. Here is an interesting take on how our service of God, can actually become an enemy of God... again I am sharing from Oswald Chamber's insights.

Chambers says 'Beware of anything that competes with your loyalty to Jesus Christ. The greatest competitor of true devotion to Jesus is the service we do for Him. It is easier to serve than to pour out our lives completely for Him. The goal of the call of God is His satisfaction, not simply that we should do something for Him. We are not sent to do battle for God, but to be used by God in His battles. Are we more devoted to service than we are to Jesus Christ Himself?'

It is amazing how easily we fall into this trap - especially if you happen to work in ministry like me, but I am sure for everybody else too. I get to work, and the urgent things seem to right away outweigh the important things... and so I jump into my task list for the day, postponing my time with God until 'later', and 'later' never comes.

In talking with a friend this week he reminded me - when armies are at war, one of the first strategies of the opposing army is to cut off communications. If you can hit the communications centre, you have a huge advantage. This is all too true in the spiritual battle that we so quickly forget we are involved in. The enemy will strike at our communication time with our friends, spouses, families and most importantly with our God. When that happens, we become isolated and vulnerable to so many more levels of attack.

So, may I remind you (and me) today of the importance of not letting service of God, come at the expense of your relationship with God. It is out of that relationship and the time that you spend with the Source of LIfe that you will have life and energy to serve and love God and people.